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How to Be a Racist 101

In order to be a proper racist, the first and last step is: Be white…

Ok ok, it’s not THAT simple (go to “Bonus Round”)*. Look, I know we live in a progressive society and it’s getting increasingly difficult to be racist, but it’s worth a shot.

First, let’s observe some of the benefits of being racist:

  • No need to spend your limited brain power to figure out who to like or not to like. You simply look at them and immediately decide!
  • You don’t have to learn history! Just wave the flag and you are good to go.
  • Get free entrance to and clear sheets from every organization that happens to have three consecutive consonants as their name.
  • Your chances of becoming the leader of the free world are increased tremendously!

Ok, let’s get down and dirty.

Step 1

Choosing the kind of racist you want to be. The “basic package” includes hatred towards people of color. After that, you may continue to move up to the “standard package” and gain the “I hate foreigners in general” bonus.

Or, for a limited time only, you can choose our premium package. You get ALL of the above, plus a ticket to our monthly “peaceful” rallies!

Step 2

In order to really pass the “racism bar”, you also have to do a LOT of serious forgetting and ignoring.

History, facts, news etc… are propaganda. You should focus on the “real” news. People on Twitter, Facebook or Youtube that talk loud, get red-faced and are used to talk about reptilians.

Step 3

Now it’s time to enrich your vocabulary and rhetoric. We don’t want dem commies to make useful and accurate points now, do we?

Take notes: “patriot”, “real [insert any country]”, “i want a better future for my kids”, “kids”, “children”, “kids, MY KIDS”, “we are the best country in the WORLD”,”civilization”, “YUUUUGE”…

Step 4

You don’t have to limit yourself to ONLY hating races. Some of our best-certified racists hate first themselves and THEN everyone else.

Hate women, different religions, different cultures etc… Don’t be afraid to express your thoughts. Start spitting non-sense whenever you see the opportunity.

There is a bunch of slang you can use to your advantage, but I bet you already know that, don’t you?

The Devil is in the Racist Details

To be honest, being a racist is very easy. It comes naturally to most of us. Maybe it was our upbringing or the simple fact that we need to compensate for our damaged ego. Nonetheless, these are some of the basic things you have to do. Later on, you can also expand your influence and go online. Using the same tactics found here, you could practice being a racist even more! Or strive to become a racist dictator, surely that hasn’t been done before.

*Bonus Round: Implying that only white people are capable of being racist is the best non-logical argument you can make. This will allow you to be racist and no one will be able to complain about it. Genius!

About Giwrgos Kourakos

Giwrgos is currently a student at the University of Patras in Greece, majoring in mathematics. He has a degree in musical theory and about to take his degree in classical guitar. Giwrgos is also a journalist who writes news articles about current affairs, events and parties around the country. He loves to read books and hopes to write one some day. As a proud Greek, he also loves debates, conversations about politics, religion and so much more!

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