Global Warming for Dummies and Donald Trump

Global Warming and Climate Change, often cited, rarely comprehended. It is a hard topic to talk about nowadays, with rising resentments against the very well documented fact that our earth is indeed changing its climate. It surely doesn’t help having a President in the White House that doesn’t believe in anything he cannot understand – so let’s make an effort. Let’s get to the bottom of Global Warming. Are you ready Donald?

We were leaving 2017 with a bang. An unusual cold bang indeed, as it was projected to be the coldest New Year’s Eve in the Eastern USA on record. But how could we get the coldest ever recorded New Year’s Eve when we allegedly caused this massive thing called Global Warming that will eventually kill us all?

What a good question! Guess who didn’t ask that question but used his simple mind to draw a definitive conclusion for the whole world on account of a chilly day in New York? Like clockwork, we were reminded that there was a stable genius in the White House that saved us from buying into this crap and, even worse, spend money on it. It was a hard choice. Paris Agreement or Golf Course, but he thinks he made the right one.

Thank out lord and savior Donald Trump for this spot on analysis. Let’s get to the bottom of this and answer the three question you never asked: “Is Global Warming a man-made phenomenon?”, “Where’s your proof?”, and “Why am I freezing to death in New York while watching a ball hit the ground?”

Is Global Warming Caused by Humans?

Many skeptics will come out and say that there is no empirical evidence that Global Warming or Climate Change is caused by humans. And they are right, there is no empirical proof. It’s an underwhelming start to explain Global Warming, I know, but keep in mind that this doesn’t necessarily mean what you think it means.

There are other things that have been proven by empirical evidence.

  1. Greenhouse Gases build our atmosphere and are responsible to trap solar energy on earth so we don’t freeze to death. The more of these gases build up, the more energy is kept on earth. It has been proven that the earth keeps increasingly more energy, causing it to heat up, while the energy we receive from the sun remained stable.
  2. It has also been proven that CO2 is the gas causing most energy to be trapped.
  3. CO2 Levels have increased by 50% in the last 150 years.
  4. We are not the sole producer of CO2, but we contribute a significant amount to it, an amount that can be significantly reduced on our end.

It can, therefore, be concluded, that increasing levels of CO2 in the atmosphere cause the earth to heat up, and that we contribute to it.

Therefore, yeah we are responsible and can possibly counteract Global Warming. Even if not, we cannot be sure until we have tried and being idle doesn’t serve any problems of global importance.

Where is Your Proof that Global Warming Exists?

OK Donald, let’s just look at the statistics of your own government agencies. They even provide them on Twitter in the hopes you might read them. Spoiler alert: 2017 was the third warmest year on record for the US.

And that’s not all, you also had a few exciting natural disasters thrown in for good measure. But surely, just because 2017 was also the costliest year on record due to natural disasters, totaling a nice bill of 306 Billion USD, doesn’t mean it’s warming up.

2017 has had the most Billion Dollar disasters, on par with 2011, and followed by a close second 2016.

Why is it so cold then?

Important note: extensive natural disasters are a sign of a changing climate. A cold week or two hardly means anything. Weather is short-term and local, while Global Warming describes a long-term change in the global atmosphere. Comparing one to the other is really just foolish. Especially if your country is just making up 2% of the entire earth’s surface and you are taking a weather occurrence in a tiny part of it as proof of a worldwide issue. Sad.

But, funny enough, even cold weather could be a sign of Global Warming. You see, there is something called Jet Streams, which is pretty much high altitude atmospheric highways, separating the atmosphere naturally. North of jet streams the atmosphere is usually cooler, while southwards it is warmer. This also explains why sometimes climate can change drastically within a small area.

Those jet streams are not fixed. They may change for a variety of reasons and bulge up or down making areas that should be warm, colder. It is assumed, that the warming Arctic might influence the Jet Streams, causing them to bulge southwards, causing unusual cold weather phenomenon further south.

Whatever the reason, these occurrences are getting more common and, recently, we even got snowfall in the Sahara Desert, one of the places many people would not expect snow at all. But even extremes like this are no indicator against Global Warming, as explained above.

You know what Donald? Now that I’ve written everything down I think I should’ve gone with keywords, bullet points and praised you more. There is no way you read this past the first paragraph. Sad. Maybe Sloppy Steve can read it out to you on occasion.

About Andreas Salmen

Born and raised in Germany, learned a job in IT and Business and ultimately decided that this wasn't exactly where my life was going to end. Left everything behind to become a writing backpacker instead. The world's crumbling away anyway so why not write about it and get a few good Instagram pics on the way, am I right?

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